At the burial of prominent Nigerian figure Herbert Wigwe, his wife, and their son, a seemingly trivial incident sparked controversy: how Tochi Wigwe, the eldest daughter, greeted Vice President Kashim Shettima.
Critics who unjustly targeted Tochi for not standing to greet the vice president reflect not only a misunderstanding of grief and cultural nuances but also unwarranted scrutiny.
While some may argue that standing is a sign of respect, it’s crucial to recognise that grief affects individuals differently, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to mourning etiquette.
To condemn Tochi for her actions is to overlook the profound pain she must be experiencing. Losing both parents and a sibling in a tragic accident is an unimaginable burden to bear. In such moments of intense sorrow, social conventions often take a back seat to the overwhelming weight of grief.
However, the assumption that Tochi’s actions stem from a lack of a proper upbringing or disrespect is both unfair and presumptuous. It is not our place to judge her based on a single moment captured in a photograph. Rather than rushing to criticise, we should extend compassion and understanding to a grieving individual navigating an unimaginable loss.
It’s essential to acknowledge the cultural context in which this incident occurred. Nigerian customs and traditions surrounding mourning may differ from those in other parts of the world. What may seem unconventional to some might be perfectly acceptable within the cultural framework of the Wigwe family or Western culture, which plays a huge role in her upbringing.
In times of mourning, our focus should be on offering support and solace to those who are grieving, rather than scrutinising their every action. Grief is deeply personal, and each copes with it in their way. It’s time we shift our attention away from trivialities and redirect our efforts towards empathy and solidarity.
At the end of the day, let us remember that behind every headline and social media post, there lies a human being grappling with loss and heartache. Instead of passing judgment, let us extend a hand of compassion and understanding to Tochi Wigwe and all those who are mourning the loss of their loved ones.
She could have stood up to greet Vice President Shettima and still displayed rude behaviour. All that should matter is that she was seated and still very respectful to all the guests.
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