Outdated and Deeply Problematic
Senator Ned Nwoko’s recent statement about his preference for marrying virgins would, as usual, stir controversy. It raises important questions about archaic attitudes toward virginity. While Nwoko’s personal preferences are his own, the implications of his statement extend far beyond his individual choices.
In light of the complex historical understanding of virginity, Nwoko’s stance appears somewhat outdated and also deeply problematic. This article would look contradictory in a way, as a reader would think, “If you do not support maintaining virginity before marriage, then you support waywardness.” This is far from the truth and the objective of this piece. This argues that if you must talk about virginity, it must apply to all parties, not just women and girls.
Objectifying Women
First and foremost, Nwoko’s assertion reflects a narrow and antiquated view of sexuality and human relationships. By prioritising a woman’s virginity above all else, he reduces the value of women to their sexual history, perpetuating harmful stereotypes and reinforcing patriarchal notions of female purity. This attitude not only objectifies women but also denies them agency over their own bodies and experiences. It also does not shine any light on the man’s sexual history, especially that of himself, who is in his sixth marriage. It shows that the morality he and his ilk crave is only valid if kept by women.
Christian groups condemned Oji as pagan and incompatible with Christian beliefs, refusing to participate in ceremonies involving it.
Confessing Any Promiscuity before Marriage
In Idoma culture, the tradition of Oji involves brides confessing any promiscuity before marriage, with virginity highly valued as a gift from the bride to the groom. Suspicions of a bride’s promiscuity can lead to the testing of her confession through a spiritual medium involving a hen placed at a shrine overnight. If the hen is found dead at dawn, it’s believed the bride lied, leading to marriage suspension and further confession. Many women who fail this test face ridicule and ostracism, often leaving their communities to marry elsewhere.
In the late 20th century, protests against Oji emerged from feminist, Christian, and western civilisation advocates. Feminists criticised Oji as patriarchal and gender biased, arguing that it protected men while punishing women for premarital encounters. Christian groups condemned Oji as pagan and incompatible with Christian beliefs
, refusing to participate in ceremonies involving it. These protests contributed to the decline of the Oji tradition as society moved towards greater gender equality and religious influence. Now, virginity is almost literally frowned upon, while pre-marital sex is applauded. This situation is not praised by this article, either.
Virginity Overlooks Multifaceted Human Sexuality
I believe that Nwoko’s fixation on virginity overlooks the multifaceted nature of human sexuality and the diverse ways in which individuals express intimacy and connection. Some people who are virgins anatomically may be involved in other types of sex, such as anal sex. A historical context would reveal that virginity has been understood in various ways throughout different cultures and time periods, challenging the simplistic notion that it can be reduced to a physical state of “intactness.”
In early Christianity, for instance, virginity encompassed spiritual purity and ritual significance, extending beyond mere physical chastity. This nuanced understanding contrasts sharply with Nwoko’s reductionist interpretation, highlighting the inadequacy of his perspective in capturing the richness and complexity of human sexuality.
Furthermore, Nwoko’s emphasis on virginity reinforces harmful gender norms and perpetuates inequality. By holding women to a different standard than men and valuing them based on their sexual history, he contributes to the stigmatisation of women who do not meet his criteria of “purity,” just like in the Idoma tradition described above. This not only places undue pressure on women but also perpetuates a culture of shame and judgment surrounding sexuality.
Virginity is Not a Measure of Worth or Virtue
It is crucial to recognise that virginity is not a measure of worth or virtue, and one’s sexual history should not dictate their value as a person. By fixating on virginity, Nwoko fails to acknowledge the inherent dignity and autonomy of every individual, regardless of their past experiences.
In conclusion, Ned Nwoko’s statement reflects a regressive and harmful attitude towards sexuality and gender. Rather than perpetuating outdated notions of purity and worth, we should strive to embrace a more inclusive and respectful understanding of human relationships. It is time to move beyond the fallacy of virginity and recognise the inherent worth of every individual, irrespective of their sexual history.
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